In my forty years of handling adoptions, I've never met a birth mother who didn't care about her baby. I haven't met more than a dozen mothers in my adoption practice who intended to become pregnant.
In an independent or identified agency adoption you will be able to speak to and meet the adopting parents personally (although you are not required to meet them if you prefer not to). Whether you meet them or not, you are entitled to know who they are, what they do for a living, how much money they make, and have information about their health, marriage history, religion, hobbies, other children in the home, etc. You are entitled to choose the new family for your child.
I have always represented birth mothers who seek my help. Some adoption agencies claim only to represent the child. Some lawyers claim only to represent adopting parents, and facilitators cannot represent anyone at all! I am happy to represent you and help you find the perfect adoption. California law permits me to represent the adopting parents also, but only with your written permission. If any conflict arises between you and the adopting couple, I cannot and will not represent them against you. And, if you prefer, I will represent only you.
Adopting parents can help you pay pregnancy-related living expenses, including rent, food, some maternity clothes, utilities and transportation, during your period of incapacity—usually considered to be the last three or four months before birth, and six weeks following a vaginal delivery, or eight weeks following a C-Section.
Generally speaking, you may give birth wherever you wish. If you remain in your home state, the baby will be born in the hospital you and your doctor choose.
If you live in a state which restricts independent adoption, or prohibits assistance with your necessary expenses, you may decide to come to California for the birth. The adopting parents will pay for your airline transportation, rent and support while you are here. I maintain comfortable furnished apartments in very safe neighborhoods in the Los Angeles area specifically for the convenience of mothers who come here. You will not be compelled to stay in a maternity home (unless you want to).
In most of the adoptions I handle these days, adopting parents send their birth mother occasional pictures and letters to let her know how the baby is doing. Now and then, a mother wants ongoing personal contact with the baby in the adoptive home. While most adopting couples are not open to this, I am in contact with couples who are, and with attorneys and adoption groups who specialize in this type of arrangement. If you want a very open adoption, I can find you the adoptive family you want.
Generally, unwed birth fathers seldom come forward to contest adoption, but occasionally they do. The rights of unwed fathers vary. In some states they have rights equal to the birth mother's; in others they have almost none. It is important the father's rights be understood, properly dealt with, and never ignored. Adoption is easier if the birth father will sign a simple waiver and furnish medical background information about his family.