Nothing to see here
Let's let this be our little secret.

Almost every birth mother wants to meet the adopting couple and satisfy herself personally that they are warm-hearted, loving people who will be good to her baby. More than anything else a successful meeting with adopting parents assures a birth mother that she is doing the right thing.

Some practitioners recommend that the birth mother become a member of your family: perhaps as a baby sitter or visitor. While I don't advocate that much contact, birth mothers occasionally ask for it. So, if you are comfortable with that type of arrangement, let me know.

A few practitioners suggest that the birth mother live in the adoptive parents' home during pregnancy. I think that can be a mistake: if she develops close feelings for a couple, it may be difficult to separate after the birth; if she develops negative feelings, she will be unable to place the child. While it is important for all the parties to know one another, it is possible to be too close!


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